Some people might think that PTSD is only for people who have been in a war situation. Its also if you have experienced a traumatic event in your life. It can be a car accident, it can be from an abuse, or it can be from other things as well.
I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Back in 2000 when I worked at F & M Bank as a teller we had a robbery. I was the teller the robber came to. I kept working even after that day. didn't take any time off. Had my three little visits to a shrink that was allowed by company policy. But a few months later we had another incident where a car with four young people came up to the drive up wanting to cash out of state checks with out of state phony I.D.'s. I knew they were phony because they were obviously tampered with military id's. I was going to tell them we can't do it due to bank policy when I saw one of the young men get out of the car and run into the building. I knew right then and there it was going to get bad if we didn't cash those checks. There was only the two of us in the bank at the time so I cashed them. I called up to the main office and talked to the manager there and told her what happened and gave my two weeks notice. I just couldn't do it any more. Since then I have bounced from job to job. Haven't been able to hold on to one since then for any great length of time. The longest one was two years. This week has been a bit of a sticky wicket. I am working as a cashier at a local store that has us watching Computer Based Learning modules. One of them is about Robbery. I thought I could watch it. I have been doing pretty good lately. I thought. I can actually watch a tv show with a robbery in it and not have a panic attack. Its been over 12 years I figured I would be alright. I was wrong. I was watching it and they showed a scenario in where a woman demanded money. I started tearing up and my hands started shaking. I just couldn't watch it any more. I lost it. I take meds for vertigo that is caused by the PTSD. So yeah, I am not as over it as I thought. I haven't slept much since then either.
I just want to return to some sort of normalcy. I just don't want to be a victim. Everyone says, don't be a victim but they never really tell how to NOT be a victim. I am doing my best but right now, its coming out in no sleep and when I do fall asleep I jump when I wake. So today I got something to help me sleep. No not booze or some of those pills that can be highly addictive. Just a natural herb to help me sleep. I hope it works. Why am I saying all this? Because I want to let others know, its alright to not have a perfect past and its things like this that helps bring out good stories and helps the writer heal themselves in a way. At least for me its theraputic. I have talked to shrinks and thats all that ever happens. I talk, they "listen" and thats it. They don't suggest doing this excersize or that, just talk. I have talked about stuff till I'm blue in the face. It hasn't helped. I still have panic attacks if I am in an overly crowded area. Banks can be very bad for me too. I hate going in to them because I just feel very trapped and like at any time an idiot is going to walk in and do something stupid. I hope that soon I can get back to something akin to normal soon. I don't want to take as long as it did the first time. Well I hope this helps one person at least. If nothing else it has given me a way to vent. Thanks for listening.
Charlie and I have successfully published our book! We are indie authors still on a journey in this amazing and twisting world of publishing. Join us on our Journey!
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
The Big Blog Hop!
Writers dream. Now
it's time to dream BIG.
(Charlie and I write are a writing team who have published "Kai's Journey" so some of these answers
are his and some are mine as well as some being a combination of both of ours.
So read on and enjoy the interview!)
You have the
opportunity to hire anybody as your cover artist. If you write children's books
or books that are heavily illustrated, who would you get for the interior
artwork?
Charlie; I
would like to have John Jude Palencar who did the illustrations for Eragon.
Wendy; I would
like to work with John Rocco who did the illustrations for the Percy Jackson series.
Who would you
co-write your next novel with? What genre? Why?
We both really enjoy working with each other on story ideas
and working out story lines. If we could work with anyone though, I think we
would love to work with a few different people just to get their take on how
they work and how they come up with their ideas. Christopher Paolini for
Charlie because he is a big fan of his works and has since he was in school. We
both would like to work with Rick Riordan because of the way he writes which we
both love how he does the norm and writes in a style he likes. I would love to
work with Stephen King not because of just who he is but also because I would
like to just visit with him and see how he comes up with his ideas. How much
time he works on his stories, markets, promotes and all the rest. Christopher
and Rick are both Young Adult genres which is our genre. Stephen King is a
horror writer but he also dabbles in a few other genres too.
Your publisher wants
to do an audiobook version of your novel and they're not sparing any expense.
Who do you think can narrate your masterpiece?
We had both thought about this and we think that James
Marsters who you may know from Buffy the Vampire Slayer as Spike. He has the
right kind of voice we feel to carry the book and make it come to life.
They're really going
all out! Your novel is getting a full soundtrack. Who should compose it? If
your novel uses a lot of songs, list your compilation here.
I think we would like to use Howard Shore who did the music
for Lord of the Rings Trilogy. He did an amazing job with it and we would like
to see what he could do with our book.
Congratulations! Your
novel is being turned into a major motion picture. As the creator of the
original work, you get to pick the director.
We would like Peter Jackson. What he did for L.O.T.R.
trilogy was amazing! We think it would be fun to see what he could do with
ours.
The director has some
ideas on who to cast, but you get to cast one character. What role/character is
it and who portrays them?
We would like to have John Rhys-Davies to play Boris. We
think with his voice and his stature he could carry that role very well.
You've been hired to
write a novel based on a preexisting character or franchise from another
medium. Which character or franchise is it?
We would like to write a novel on the character Draco and
get a better backstory on how he came to know so much about the knight’s code
in the movie “Dragon heart”.
It's the anniversary
of your favorite literary character's debut. You've been hired (yay, work!) to
write an anniversary novel. Who is the literary character?
I would write a novel about Allanon from the Shannara series
by Terry Brooks. I think he could have a great story just on his life and
adventures alone. I realize he was key in the stories but I think he could be
more than a supporting character.
Head on over to our next bloggers place at:
Monday, February 4, 2013
Writer's Got Talent: Win Free Books
Writer's Got Talent: Win Free Books: I am proud to announce that authors in The Writers Network are beginning to create offers on fReado with their books on Auction. You...
Writer's Got Talent: Win Free Books
Writer's Got Talent: Win Free Books: I am proud to announce that authors in The Writers Network are beginning to create offers on fReado with their books on Auction. You...
Writer's Got Talent: Win Free Books
Writer's Got Talent: Win Free Books: I am proud to announce that authors in The Writers Network are beginning to create offers on fReado with their books on Auction. You...
Sunday, February 3, 2013
We are in the 5th and final round!
Would you please pass this along to your friends as well? thank you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)