Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Just tired.

I hope that no one in anyway thinks I am giving up on the publishing industry or anything like that. But today, I am just tired. I feel like all I am doing is chasing my tail. I advertise, I help others, I let them know about the book, we had a write up in the local paper, nada. We have been featured in blogs and also on radio shows, nada. We have a sweet new cover that is totally amazing! and still nada. I keep looking at the book sales, only about once a week now, but still, We did sell 4 books in a few days one week, bout sent me over the moon. But once again. nada. I just don't know what I am doing wrong, or right, or left or what. I have done the marketing thing as far as I can on a budget of zero dollars. But still, nada. I guess I need to step back a bit and re evaluate our situation. I don't know what else to do right now. Maybe its the stress of the graduation of my youngest, and the finishing up of my schooling and also the stress of not having a job + bills. I am just so very tired right now. Physically and emotionally. I would love for this to be the full time job, writing, publishing, helping others, but right now it just isn't working. I have been able to interview some amazing authors. I have tossed around the idea of ghost writing. So far no takers. But then, I really haven't hung out my shingle either. I don't have a college degree, or even a long and lustrious writing career to back me either. Just my ten fingers and the ability to string thoughts into words and words into stories. I feel like some days I am bucking a system that is determined to keep me down. I have so much to be thankful for and I am very thankful for. My health, my kids, grown and all graduated. All good kids. A good and loving husband.
I want more out of life then just barely scraping by. I want to be the next mother/son writing team sensation! Yeah, I have set my sights a bit high. o.k I have aimed for the stars. Thats what they say to do isn't it? To aim for the stars? Go big or go home? Does that mean we can't feel frustrated at times or feel tired and sometimes even contemplate giving up? I am aiming for the stars and I do want it so bad. I want it because I feel we have stories to tell and I think people will want to hear it. But I also want it so bad because its a job that I could do and not get fired from, so to speak. I wouldn't be "downsized", "Bought out", "going out of business" or just plain harrassed by my boss or co workers into quiting. I keep plugging away hoping maybe someday, something will click and the stars will line up or the powers that be will forget to beat me down for a few days and we will finally get our chance. We are willing to put in the time and work our tushies off. But we just want a chance. So for today and probably the rest of the week, I am just going to lay low and lick my wounds. I have an interview I promised someone and I also have a review I promised to get done. But other then that, I think I will take a break from all the marketing and stuff. I don't think it can possibly hurt my sales, because there aren't any. ha ha ha.
So someday if I look back at this and we have made it I can honestly say to others, even successful people get frustrated at times before they make it. If we don't make it, then well, I can say, see, you shouldn't get this way or you will have failed before you even got started. I have heard both sides so could honestly say both. I will think of us as a success when we can comfortably pay all the bills and have quite a bit left over. I will think of us as a success when a company offers us two million dollars to sign us for a contract to write stories for them. Is that a big rarety? heck yes! lol, but thats my goal. Is it a bit lofty? heck yes! But I figured it this way, it always gives me something to strive for. So, I feel I have done my rant for the day and just wanted to let others know, I may be down, but I am not out. While I am down here though, I figure I will pray and ask the Lord for guidance and help. I know others out there don't believe but I do. So I am off to fix supper and be a normal broke person who is trying to figure out how to rob Jack, to pay Peter and repay Paul. (Only a figure of speach!) Well, have a good evening all and have a good one.