Friday, February 22, 2013

Extreme frustration (You have been warned)

I guess today is a day of frustration. I want to promote our book, but since it is being redone, I really can't. There isn't a place to send people to look at any progress, there isnt' a book cover to show people, there isn't much of anything except my word that we are editing it and I don't know when it will be done. I know editing takes time, and patience. which I seem to be getting short of. We have been working on it since last August and I am concerned if this is a normal amount of time for editing or are we extra stupid and don't know squat? I should be tweeting, but what do you tweet? its in the body shop? its getting made over? I am so limited on what I can do. I want to do something besides promote others with their books. Does this even make sense to anyone? Is there anyone out there who understands this problem and gets what I mean? I am working on other stories. We finished book two for Kai's Journey. And now its at MKSP waiting to be decided upon whether or not they will take it. but its in  a long line of manuscripts to be gone through so it could be awhile. In the mean time, I wait. I get on facebook, I go from site to site. I get on twitter, retweet a few tweets, I am in a couple of groups and we tweet each other out. I put up the book, but I don't think anyone really pays it much mind. everyone by now knows its the old one and the new one is coming out, sometime. Some might thing a writers life is unencumbered by frustration when, at least in my experience, its been pretty liberally doused with frustration. Maybe its because I come from a background of no clue as to what I am doing. No education of any kind in book writing, marketing, publishing, or promoting.
I have learned everything on the go. I keep running into people who say it takes an education to do it properly, and you need this degree and that degree and so on. I don't have any of that, What I do have is determination. I will keep going. But sometimes I think in the back of my head, there are hundreds of thousands if not millions of other people out there who are doing the same exact thing as me and they aren't getting any further ahead. Are we all deluding ourselves into thinking we will make it somehow? Maybe not JK Rowling or Stephen King make it, but at least to be able to sell a fair amount of books every month. Say, a hundred a month? Right now I would be tickled at 10 a month. I play the lottery. I don't win anything big, just play the same set of numbers every week. I don't plop down a paycheck or anything, if we are really tight on money, I skip a week or two. but otherwise I do play it. I always figure you can't win if you don't play. But millions of others also play, they also dream. I wonder if its the same with our writing, I love the writing experience, the creating stories, talking to Charlie about ideas and plot lines. But I fear that like the lottery its just a dream that may very well never be realized. Yes, I am one of those day dreamers. I dream of becoming rich, of buying a house, going on a trip with the family. of telling some family members who finally decide I am worthy to be a part of their family to kiss off. yeah, a bit of anger issues there. Sorry, not perfect. Do I believe in myself? Not really, but I do believe in my son. And because of that I push on and keep going. Even if I do get frustrated and wound up in knots over it at times. Would I love to have the education to know what the hell I am doing? heck yes! I would be a fool not to. but I don't so there is no use crying over what you don't have. All I can do is use what do is use what I do know and what I have learned and move on from there. But this whole limbo thing has got me all tied up in knots and has left me feeling very frustrated. Maybe I should take a page out of Cassidy Frazee's book and just keep writing and ignore the where the hell is my acceptance letter and why can't I promote yet business. She just writes. I don't see her on much except for the blog and a few times on facebook, but otherwise the woman just writes! O.k I think I have vented enough for one day, Have a great day all and remember, even if you do get frustrated, don't give up and keep moving forward even if it does feel like you are on a treadmill going nowhere fast.